Jacen, that’s our son. That’s our baby boy! Not even three months yet (but he WILL be sooooon). I am amazed every day as I’m sure every new mom before has been with their babies, as he constantly learns. Before I get a chance to blink, he has learned how to do something new, grasp intentionally, smile, laugh, stick his tongue out when I do, look from side to side, follow my voice… everyday he learns something new and is all excitement to show me and to show off. He flirts, he giggles, he loves just about anyone giving him attention. His personality erupts from him. I am forever in awe of how much personality such a little thing can have, and how fast it starts to show.
Jace knows what he likes and he knows what he dislikes. Not only that, but he knows how to tell you. Already, we can see that he loves us as parents, but he is independent. Once he’s figured something out, he wants to do it. We want him to cuddle, but he wants to see the world. Different rooms, different sounds, different activities… he is enraptured and enthralled. He gets bored if we sit too long and he has ENERGY… we call him our little wiggle worm because sometimes he won’t stop moving! I lay him on his back and all four limbs are flailing. His arm and leg movements get more and more intentional but he cannot wait to figure out what to do with them. Now that he can hold himself up during tummy time, he is dying to move, always moving. Bath time sets him off as he commands the waves with his continual splashing... Completely enamored with the fact that he has an affect on the substance around him.
There is so much we have yet to discover about who our little man will grow up to be, and we are so excited to see it all unfold! The nicknames we come up with because of the little things he does are endless! Some come and go, some will probably stick around for a few more years.
I look at Jacen, watch him smile and see the life he hasn't even lived yet flash before my eyes. I see the drawings, the projects, the first day of school and the last, the sledding, the falls, the skinned knees, the can-i-keep-them pets, the bullies, the girlfriends, the mistakes, the tears, the undoubtable-endless laughs, the family nights, his journey of self-discovery, his graduation, the day he will leave for college. All of that rich, loved life fills my brain and I'm overwhelmed with excitement, anticipation, fear and awe. We get the honor of doing that journey with him, and we walk into that with all the love and excitement we have!
There will be challenge, there will be opposition... He will face dark days as well as good days. He will fall and we hope to teach him how to get back up. But more than anything we hope to not only teach him to overcome challenges but to rise far above them. Thinking about this adventure-filled life he has yet to live, if there was one thing I hope he gets from his father and me in how to live it.... It's to live it fiercely. To live it full and live well, in love with His creator and founded in the identity that He gives him. It's to stand on the edge of the mountain and be able to shout "My name is Jacen, hear me roar." The book Wild At Heart talks about how boys intrinsically desire to be seen as a force to be reckoned with. My prayer is that Jacen finds the fulfillment of that desire in Christ and lives it out in confidence.
I'm so happy we had a boy. I would've been amazingly happy to have a girl... But there is just something so much fun for me that I get the crazy enjoyment of raising a little man. I get the day that he will find the tree frog in our front bush and want to bring it in. I get the gross stories, all the nerdy boy things (which in my opinion are better than girl toys), I get the stick-sword fights, later on, the girl-friends (also better than dealing with the boyfriends).... Just thinking about each moment, I wish I could live them at the same time! If we had had a girl, I would be facing an entirely different adventure, and I would welcome it... But this, I find exhilarating.
When it comes to how quickly he will grow... This year alone will be full of firsts... Hard to believe how different he will be by the end of it all! Still, there is nothing but child-like excitement in my heart, as it sets off racing when I think about each moment. He's our little bean right now, our little goober, our sweet boy full of nothing but smiles and giggles. One day he will be a full grown man, ready to romance some lucky girl, ready to climb a mountain, ready to conquer, ready to show the world the person God made him to be. So the next time you see my little Jacen, just picture him saying "My name is Jacen, hear me ROAR!" As hard as that might be to do when he gives you that cute, little, heart-melting smile!
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