A God-intended Relationship (One Incredible Year)

One year ago today... an absolutely magical day happened... Travis and I got to stop having to say goodbye to each other at night! Haha! Honestly though, best part of being married and probably what I hated most about dating. Saying goodbye at night was always the most painful thing for both of us. Maybe thats just us, we are so highly quality time in our love-languages that being together was the one of most important things. Didn't matter what we were doing, just so long we were together. Anyway, back to our wedding day... I cannot believe it has been a whole year since that day. I do want to start by saying a BIG thank you to everyone who came and who celebrated with us. Each of you were such a big blessing to take time, to drive, to do whatever it took to be there. Especially since we had not been home for so long, it meant the world to see you and have your support! We cannot thank you enough! Our wedding was better than either of us ever dreamed or imagined it would be and thats because of all of you, your hard work, your generosity, your love.

My best friend.. I am married to my bestest friend in the whole world. That is so true it scares me sometimes. He makes me laugh, knows everything about me and still loves me (I don't understand that sometimes), he holds me when I cry, supports me in my pregnancy, spends time with me, spoils me... the list is endless. No one has ever had a friend as incredible as my husband. People say the first year of marriage is meant to be the hardest... if thats true... BRING IT ON! This last year has honestly been one of the best years of our lives! Not saying its been perfect or that we don't have our difficult seasons. Gosh, if you want to talk about difficult seasons, lets talk about the whole of 2013 so far. Starting with the 180 degree turn decision to come home from Australia?! Followed by... oh! Little Ren! And yet... wow, what an incredible first year of marriage! Travis and I had a moment last night together where we just remembered it all... it was like seeing your life flash before your eyes but we just went over this last year together. It brought tears to both of our eyes because even those incredibly challenging moments have all been so very beautiful. It's the greatest thing in the world to be able to look back and see God's hand in each little moment. Every moment had a lesson, or an area of growth, or just a moment of encouragement... every moment brought Trav and I closer to each other and to God. He has orchestrated a year of faith-building love. I am overwhelmed when I take in the history of it all starting with the most beautiful day of our lives, the day that brought us together! The only way I can think to describe it is as one giant gorgeous adventure.

My thoughts this morning, I could not help myself, rested on a blog I read a while back that I then saw circulate for a while. The blog was circled around the idea that we do not have soul mates. Which, when reading her background and how she used to think... I understand what she's talking about. She had what I like to call and have heard it called before... the "white knight syndrome". Us little girls are raised on disney movies and westernized ideas of love and what love is, who our husband will be etc. Our definition of "soul-mates" is wrong... not necessarily that having a soul-mate is wrong. She also talked about how her dad popped her bubble and told her He doesn't have a husband planned out for her, God's only concern is her relationship with Him and growing her in Him, which is true. However, I have to say I am so happy that I also disagree! Not that God is completely wrapped up with who we will marry or that He has just ONE person for you. But I believe our God is SO big, He is ABSOLUTELY involved in who you will marry 100%. You have to understand... my marriage story is kind of crazy, and one that leaves me without a doubt that Travis was intended for me from years ago. Sure, I could have married someone else and been entirely happy... because like this girl talks about, marriage is a choice and loving your spouse is a daily decision not something you are destined to do. Still, there is a greater purpose and plan to each and every marriage that has nothing to do with you and what YOU want...

My definition of "soul-mate" is that person that God intended... although "soul-mate" is not my favorite terminology for it, it has a finality to it that I agree, shouldn't exist. I too, grew up with a very thwarted view of who I will marry (or not marry in my case). See, I wasn't the little girl who always knew or had a list or even dreamed about her wedding day. I grew up believing I would never be good enough for anyone and how could I ever get married? For 6 years of my life, I fell in love with a boy and I have to say it was the most miserable time! Even in my teenage, hormone-enraged brain... I knew he was not the one. Regardless, my emotions and "love" for him raged on. Being so aware of him being the wrong one for me but how passionately my emotions connected me to him... I was able to attribute most of that to hormones and an immature view of what love really was. It took a long time to get him out of my mind and heart because I had fed that infatuation for so long... but it taught me so much. I learned not only about relationships and love but about myself and some of my fastest and strongest growing times was in the 2 years coming out of that crush. Going through it was what brought me to realize all those patterns of thinking and pre-concieved ideas of what love was that I had to battle and break; all ideas that I had grown up with because of how love had been portrayed to me (not just through media but through the church).

So unlike, this other blogger... I had an opposite learning experience... which has brought me to a very different conviction. Instead of learning that Jeremiah 29:11 does NOT apply to our marriage... I discovered that yes, God DOES care who I marry. Not just for me or my heart, but after going through the entirety of the journey, He does it for what He can then do in and through me. God took me through a journey of discovery to show me that He does care, I do matter, I am beautiful, and He had someone that He had been shaping just for me from the time he (Travis) was born. That whole time I felt like I was going to get left out on the whole marriage front... God had a plan all along. I just had to go to Australia to find him. That is the part that gets me the most. Travis is from Washington state, just grew up on the opposite side, and I had to go halfway across the world to meet him. No one can tell me that wasn't a God-intended relationship. Travis and I have shared stories of how we've grown up, ways we used to think, everything... and I look at these specific situations and just go, wow... That prepared you for "this" and that prepared me for "that" in our marriage today! God was in every moment as He is in everything in our lives. Mine and Trav's marriage is designed detail by detail and God did it. Our marriage is more than just for us as well. Who God shaped us into for each other will now also shape our soon-to-be-born son, which will prepare him for who he will marry and what they will accomplish as a couple, and their children, and so on and so forth. See, God does have a plan for who you are going to marry, but its bigger than you or that marriage. It's all for His plans and purposes, for His kingdom.

Don't give up praying for your husband... the teary eyed letters come because of our immature emotions that we are still learning to work through as we grow, but get God involved in your future love life. Write those lists... maybe not eye color, hair color... but the necessaries. The lists in my opinion are good to help girls have a healthy standard of what kind of guy to marry. They help prevent the destructive relationships where we make excuses for the other guy. The lists help girls look at the relationship and go... no! This isn't what I want! Coming out of my 6 year crush I just cried out that God would write my love story. Not because it was the most important part of my life or what God had in store for me but because it was something that caused me so much pain and I didn't understand. I was surrendering it to Him, because He does care... and wow did He ever write me an AMAZING love story... and it is still being written! Most importantly it has God Himself at the center of it... it's not about Travis or him being my soul-mate... its about this incredible man of God that God raised and introduced me to in the right time that I now get the honor of doing life with... of choosing to love day after day (because yes, love is still a daily choice and must continue to be nurtured).

No, there is no specific bible verse that says God cares about and has just ONE person in store for you anywhere in the bible. But there are love stories galore, each with a different purpose behind the couple... it's never focused on the couple nor does it make their marriage the main event... but it does express a certain attention to detail on God's part to relationships. I bring it back to Isaac and Rebekah as just one example. Sure, same thing, Isaac could've married anyone and it would've been an amazing story nonetheless... but God had specific intentions. Abraham's servant was sent out, and God already knew who He had in mind. The best part of that love story is when the servant is bringing Rebekah back to Isaac and they see each other in a field... I'm not one to believe in love-at-first-sight but I do believe in God-intended relationships. That was one if I ever saw one.

All this being said, I cannot ever fully express my gratitude that God had someone in mind for me all along. He knew my heart even when I did not... He knew what kind of man I would need and how the coming together of our hearts would make us that much more powerful as a couple. So, Travis my love, here is to an absolutely, mind-blowingly, amazing first year of marriage. We have been through good and bad and have so much more to face... but I am honored to have you to face it with! Thank you so much for the blessing you are in my life! Happy Anniversary! So excited to welcome our beautiful little Ren into our family for this second year!

The Chevron Success

So, some of you know that a very good friend of mine is also having a little one coming this October! She is having a little princess who we like to kid will be soul mates with mine and Travis' little man. Don't worry, it's all in good fun, there's no arranged marriage about to happen or anything. However, we would not be opposed to the match!

Anyway, I digress... recently, she allowed my husband and I the honor of playing a very small part in helping her with her nursery! A truly small part... we simply taped for their chevron design. Still, it is an accomplishment I remain proud of. Chevron, if for whatever reason you don't know, is an inexplicable trend that has popped up in recent times. For some reason, this is especially true when it comes to nurseries. If you look online, there are tutorials everywhere on the best ways to pull off chevron. I really just went for it. No, I have no magic formula for it... I pretty much wung it and somehow pulled it off! I'm sure there are MUCH easier ways to do it that would have helped but once I found my groove, it wasn't that difficult.

Here's how it began. I had my cheats (a.k.a. the straight line of the wall).

 The biggest challenge doing this pattern was the fact that it wasn't the whole wall... so I couldn't just divide full measurements up and down. I could only do that vertically and then everything horozontally was a mixture of measuring, marking and eye-balling.

Again, once I kind of found a groove... I was on a roll.

If you want to know how NOT an expert I am... just figuring out a system took me an hour. Hey, it was my first time :) Hoping to have many more DIY projects in the future, but we enjoyed this as a start.

My strategy was fairly simple... start with a straight line eye-balled off the edge of the wall... then from there I had 2 points of measurement I would mark from the floor up every 12" from the first line... I'm not sure I explained that very clearly. Each bottom point of the chevron is a certain height from the floor... along a horizontal line from the first piece of tape at the edge of the wall (each point is every 11" apart). I laid down the vertical strips first... marked the heights of each point along those strips, then lined up each diagonal strip to those points from there.

Like I said... once I had a system (and all the measurements) down... it was smooth sailing from there!

Having this guys help was definitely a HUGE plus!

The finished tape job just felt so good.

Then this... the moment of victory!

I know, I know! I am pregnant! I never said I was going to paint tho! No, the only thing you would have heard from me is that we taped. Like I said, our part was very small... this was a team effort! Here is our painting star....

The painting star.

Then nothing beats the finished product and that glorious feeling of SUCCESS! So cute! And so long mama is happy I am happy! I'm pretty sure she loves it! 

Then... sweet victory!

One of the best parts of having kids is how much everyone else loves your kid even before they are born! I know this little girl is already so loved! We can't wait to meet her and watch her grow up! Loved being a part of this project so much. Can't wait to see the complete finished product for sure, her nursery is going to be so cute... and thats true especially since her mama has such good taste!

Maybe one day soon... we will have some adventure stories from little Ren's nursery.