I’ve
made a simple goal with my New Years blog and that was to get it posted before
the end of January. Getting it out halfway through while taking care of a two
month old… I’m not ashamed to say I am fairly impressed with myself. Maybe someone
else could have done better but I don’t particularly care. For me, that is
pretty stinkin’ good.
Those
of you that follow us know that this last year has been incredibly hard by any
normal standard of life. When I look back on it myself now that I’m past the
emotions of the moment… I am amazed at what we experienced. I was thankful to
find a morning at the beginning of this month where I actually had a chance to
simply reflect on 2013 and listen and hear what’s in store for 2014.
After
reflecting, I would say the defining way to describe 2013 is that it was a year
of the unknown. From January to December, we were following God blindly. There
was no knowing what to expect. The magnitude of it all impresses itself onto me
when I think about it deep enough… Putting myself into the past, into that
moment where I just realized I felt like we were being called home. 2013 hadn’t
happened yet. It was January of last year, Travis and I had just enjoyed New
Years in the city of Sydney and were expectant and excited for another year at
Hillsong. Then one week, not long after that… I sat Trav down and expressed
that I suddenly felt like it was time to go home, with NO idea why. I remember
being so overwhelmed when the new songs started to play during service at
Hillsong… they played “Oceans” for the first time and I wept. That song defines
our entire year.
We
talked to the people in our lives at the time, seeking wisdom, seeking
confirmation about the possibility of us going home. A few were skeptical, but
we got our answer… Homeward. And then… it wasn’t until MARCH that we found out.
We bought our tickets in January, and we made preparations through February. We
sold belongings, applied to colleges, we readied our hearts for the move, and
it wasn’t until the week before our flight that we found out. We were pregnant!
Little be known to us, Jacen was already with us. Just a little bean, who made
me cry when I realized that all the plans I had made would mean nothing, and I
had no plans ready for a baby. Homeward still, we went not knowing but
trusting. We agreed that Jacen was coming in the perfect timing and that God
would provide (easier said than done). The number of times that was said in
pure faith are innumerable… most of the time that I would say it I felt like I
sounded so dumb and irresponsible, or at least that people viewed me that way.
We
got home and a month went by… then two… then three. Trav still didn’t have a
job. Why? We applied almost every day, filled out over 100 applications over 3
months time. It was in a moment of despair that we received our first and only
call back from all of those applications. That got the ball rolling, a seasonal
job, one month of work, but a job. The next job came after a week of waiting to
hear back from 3 jobs that has promising interviews… with a 4th
option on the back burner. We were unsure about that one, but only wanted to
take it if it was where God wanted us to go. One day after another we heard
back from the 3 jobs and each one had found a reason by the time they called
back why they couldn’t hire or didn’t need to hire Trav anymore. We knew God
was leading us towards the 4th option. A fourth month goes by.
Our
plan was to be with my parents for only 2 months. In our 4th month
living with them we prayed and prayed that we would have a place by the end of
August. Some of you have read that story. A miracle happened… we found a house,
not a one-bedroom apartment… a house.
The
story goes on… so many more details… so many moments of just not knowing, and
God following through. So many moments where we thought we were at the end, in
terms of options, of decisions, financially, spiritually, physically,
emotionally, relationally… and it was always in the final moment that God would
respond. We stared into what seemed like a black abyss so many times, only to
find our way when it mattered most. Faith-building, that was 2013.
Praying
and listening for 2014, I just heard God’s heart express a new start. We just
had a baby and that’s already new… but I felt a physical, tangible line drawn
between December 31st and January 1st. 2014 is brand
new. Now we believe for a year of
revealing, a year of discovery, a year of ADVENTURE. My heart quickens with
excitement as He fills it with expectation for this new year. Each year gets
better and better. Each year I grow older, wiser, gain more experience, grow
stronger and somehow love more… Each year brings something fresh and new. We are in a position this year to move forward in ways that we couldn't last year. Finally settled, the baby is here, got the ball rolling for employment… it puts us in a position where we can have some real adventures, and that makes my heart race just to think about.
Last
year, we didn’t even have time to think between moving countries, getting
settled and having a baby… no time is left just to BE. This year will have
cognitive, reflective, decisive moments, full of the richness of life. Our focus will not be on surviving and getting from one day to the next
if we can but on building. Each day will be more than the day before. Who we
are as a couple, as a family will move forward and not struggle to just exist. 2013, despite the obstacles, was such a fantastic year, an anthem of
God’s faithfulness, His guidance, His love, His plans and His follow through,
His presence and His goodness… 2014 will be even better than that.
January
of 2013, we stood on the edge of the unknown, overwhelmed by the path in front
of us that we couldn’t even see. We claimed a good year with a faith surrounded by uncertainty. January 2014, we stand on the edge crouched
down the way we are before a race… our hearts full of anticipation and excitement as we step into this new year and all it has in store!
“The
best is yet to come.” – Brian Houston
No comments:
Post a Comment